Breaking up

I remember years ago hearing the phrase that “you can love someone with your entire heart, but it’s not enough.” I always thought it was a load of garbage until it happened to us.

I will always love you.

Forever and ever.

And I know that this is the right thing.

Two years is no small feat. We’re not just leaving each other, we’re leaving so much more than that. You are absolutely the best thing that has ever come into my life, and I know that I will always cherish that. It feels like a disservice to leave two years of blood, sweat, tears, and soul, but I know we both walk into the next chapter knowing that things that are over in one way do not mean they are over in every way.

You still are my very best friend.

You have always been my solace, my safe space, my home. There aren’t enough thank you’s in the world to give you.

I’m not sure how to walk away and not fall completely apart, but I know that this is as hard for you as it is for me, and I will endlessly thank you for you patience.

I wish we didn’t have to tuck away the hopes and dreams we had for each other and us. I wish things were different. It’s so insanely difficult to turn away from what you want to do what you need.

I cannot thank you enough for being understanding about that. For always supporting me. For doing it with your bravest smile and warmest heart.

You have loved me at my absolute worst, and there’s not enough ways to explain how deeply that impacted me. I’m scared for a future without you in it, but I know one day it will be okay.

I hope one day that whoever she is will cherish the comfort and security you can bring with just a look, a kiss, a tender touch. How you can reduce someone’s walls and defenses in one go.

I hope she remembers how you like you tea and always puts it on after dinner. I hope she takes an interest in your cooking and is always excited to watch another scary movie. That she’ll talk for hours on end about the impact of video games and that she hold him without words when he cries. That she holds no judgment in her heart when you act like the world’s biggest weirdo.

I hope she bakes you muffins, and you eat them with the same delight you did for me. That she remembers you like banana nut. I hope she leaves you little notes of reminders around whenever, but especially when things get particularly busy and stressful. I hope you fill your corkboard back up with all your memories with her.

There are so many things I wish she will do and say, and I know I cannot promise those things. I can just sit and hope.

I wish for your eternal and endless happiness.

In the next life, meet me at the sea. The golden coast that kissed me twice over to welcome me from the other one. Where we’ll watch orange turn to red and pink, and nothing will hurt anymore.

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