Breaking up

I remember years ago hearing the phrase that “you can love someone with your entire heart, but it’s not enough.” I always thought it was a load of garbage until it happened to us. I will always love you. Forever and ever. And I know that this is the right thing. Two years is no…

Naked

It’s 4:09 am on December 2nd, 2020. I’m in Flagstaff Arizona. I’m sitting on bed hotel bed mostly naked. The cold air hitting my skin is about the only thing grounding me to reality right now. I wish it wasn’t. I wish I could turn it all off. Not like I have to be awake…

Protected: Birthdays 2.0. TW: Rape

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Gratefulness, Depression, and A Bad Habit

Some people look at me a little crazy when I say that I have depression. It’s not as hard cutting as those who have major depressive disorder. Because I have high functioning depression, and it is hella hard. Not that having major depressive disorder isn’t hard, or that it’s harder for me. Simply, it’s hard…

What You’re Taught and What You Learn

April 12th, 2019. I was mugged. Woah. Scary, right? Yes. Traumatizing, right? Hell yes. For almost a month straight, it took me hours to fall asleep in my large and lonesome studio apartment. I needed to sleep with some kind of light on. I forced my cat to snuggle up with me for some sense…

A story eager to be told

“A blackness crept under my skin and threatened to turn everything to rot. I stopped desperately searching for what couldn’t be sought. I built up thick walls with bullet proof glass. But somehow, someway, I decided to let you pass. The stench of the rot turned into lavender and marigold. A story that is now…

The Bad Luck Blues

One night in college,  I was sitting in my best friend’s apartment going on about the shitty string of events that happened that week. This was the norm for Dylan and I. Consistently shooting the shit, but also divulging into the black hole that was my life. You might think I’m being dramatic, and trust…

Dark at the end of the tunnel.

Picture a 13 year old girl. Full of hope, optimism, light, and love. Something not a lot of pre-teen girls usually have. It’s a weird and awkward time in our lives, and usually we’re so confused that sometimes we’re too confused to be really happy. Picture that girl finally being chosen by a boy after…

Protected: Birthdays

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Rush

n. a sudden flow or flood.   My hands they pour. They’re overflowing. I’m desperately trying to protect and keep what love I have left in the palms of my hands but the more I try, the more that spills over and the more that I lose. I’m frantic and afraid. I crumble up on…